Avoiding conflicts – or growing from them

I recently had a conversation with a dog trainer who rejects any form of restriction. She works at an animal shelter and uses only positive reinforcement. It's important to me to make this clear right away: I'm not here to judge whether this is good or bad. This trainer wants exactly the same thing I do. She wants to help dogs. She wants to help people become a better team with their dogs. We work with the same intention. From the heart. With passion and motivation. And yet, during this conversation, I realized something very fundamental once again.

Two ways to deal with challenges

Essentially, there are two basic approaches. The first approach is to avoid any inconvenience as much as possible. Difficult situations are avoided. Anything that could cause stress or discomfort for the dog is removed from everyday life as much as possible. The dog should have as comfortable and stress-free a life as possible. Basically, this is avoiding conflict. Not because you want to do something wrong, but because conflict is perceived as fundamentally negative. Again, this is not a judgment. It is simply a description of this approach.

The second way

The second way is more uncomfortable. It means facing conflicts. Exposing yourself to situations that are challenging. For the dog. And for the human. This way accepts that learning and development do not take place in the comfort zone. Yes, that can be stressful. Yes, that can be unpleasant. Yes, that demands a lot from humans and dogs. But that is exactly where real progress is made.

What it really is: an attitude towards life

These two approaches are not even primarily related to dog training. They are two different attitudes to life. With dogs, this attitude is simply visible. I have decided to tackle problems at their root. I have decided to step out of my comfort zone myself. To expose myself to situations that are not easy. Knowing that this is exactly where I grow. And that this is exactly where dogs learn. It is not the more comfortable approach. But it is the one that leads to the goal.

What this means in everyday life

The avoidance approach could look something like this: Change direction every time another dog approaches. Never leaving without your dog because being alone is difficult. Rearranging your daily routine so that conflicts don't arise in the first place. That's one way. The other way is to learn, step by step, how to handle encounters with other dogs. To build up your dog's ability to be alone. To enable your dog to cope with real life.

Your decision counts

In the end, it's not about right or wrong. It's about what you want. Do you want to avoid conflict? Or do you want to learn how to deal with it? Both are choices. Nothing is set in stone. You can try things out, rethink things, and make new choices. The only important thing is that you are honest with yourself. And that your path fits your goal.

If you feel that you no longer want to avoid challenges, but instead want to learn how you and your dog can grow through them, then I would be happy to accompany you on this journey.

It all starts with a free initial consultation!